10 Marvellously Magnificent Ways To Lose Your Job In 10 Days
In a new job, sometimes nerves can subconsciously affect your behaviour, tripping you up before your seat is even warm! It’s good to make your mark and get yourself noticed…in all the right ways, but be careful to make sure that your eagerness to please doesn’t manifest itself in the wrong manner.
At Benchmark Recruit, our recruitment consultants have seen it all. We thought it was time that we shared some cautionary tales of how not to lose your job in 10 days.
Take a look at these employment crimes, and while you laugh at other people’s misfortunes be thankful you weren’t on the receiving end of the biggest reprimand of all – being fired!
These are real accounts gathered during our 10 years of recruitment:
Scenario 1: Allowing your brand new company car to be stolen because you left it unlocked… with the keys in the ignition!
If the key to success is hard work and dedication, the key to abject failure might just be this!
Looking after company equipment properly demonstrates your responsibility and capability to look after the business’s customers and products. Losing something simply shows your careless attitude towards the financial loss incurred by a business through your negligent treatment of their property.
Scenario 2: Making a cuppa for the boss…with a surprise at the bottom.
If you’re going to make your new boss a morning brew before they go into an important meeting, we recommend not leaving the teabag in the mug. There’s always the chance that he or she will take a gulp and end up with a soggy teabag in his or her face. Not a very impressive look!
Embarrassing the boss is never a great start to a job. Some might laugh this off, others won’t see the funny side. Tread carefully until you know which kind of boss you have.
Scenario 3: Researching inappropriate items on the company computer – holidays, social media, job vacancies… or even illegal material!
You aren’t being paid to plan your social life or look for your next job (within a week of starting this one) during business hours. If you have a company-issued laptop, steer clear of personal activity on it while at home, too. Illegal pursuits carried out using company property can get the business (and you) into trouble long after you’ve left.
Scenario 4: Posting your bungee jump on Facebook… during sick leave for a bad back.
Being tagged on social media in events or holidays while claiming to be off ill is a sure way to get yourself fired. It’s a trust thing – you lie to us, we fire your butt! Sort of a give and take situation really.
Scenario 5: Getting a prominent piercing during lunchtime… after taking a role as a receptionist.
While it might not affect your ability to do the job, your personal presentation could have a bearing on the image of your employer. A very obvious tattoo, extreme piercing or even a drastic new hairstyle could potentially result in lost business, especially if your role is customer-facing. If you are thinking of a radical change to your look, check with your boss first or make sure it’s something that can be covered up during work time.
Scenario 6: Having an affair with the boss…which is then discovered by his wife.
While many businesses promote family values, striking up a relationship with any of your work colleagues could make for a difficult working atmosphere. But having an affair with the boss is always a huge no-go. At the end of the day, if you’re caught, the boss isn’t going to fire themselves!
Be open and honest from the start and be prepared to look for work elsewhere in order to avoid accusations of preferential treatment.
Scenario 7: Being caught moonlighting… when a contact phones your office.
The boss picks up and is left wondering why an ex-client of the business is calling to discuss a meeting they’ve recently had with you.
Carrying out illicit work during your hours of employment is not only dishonest but, if you decide to poach one of the business’s clients, you’ll be breaking your contract. Fair and proper grounds for termination.
Scenario 8: Punching a colleague in frustration…during the first week of employment.
Some things defy common sense and this is one of them! You’re in your first week of a new job, when you shouldn’t be putting a toe out of line, and you decide to take your frustrations out on a workmate.
It’s difficult to work out all of your colleagues when settling into a new job but physical abuse is never the answer. No matter what has been done to provoke you, keep your cool, or being sacked could be the least of your worries. Whether it’s 10 days in or 10 months this is a real no no!
Scenario 9: Gossiping about a colleague…during breaktime.
Don’t be too outspoken and air personal views about colleagues at work, even if others seem to share your opinion. It only takes one person to report the chatter and office morale will hit rock bottom, as well as your earnings, perhaps.
And finally: how to lose a job… before you’ve even started!
Advertising your prejudices or political beliefs on social media, either about colleagues or situations, is a big no-no at any time but more so when potential employers might be reviewing your profile.
Racial slurs, sexist comments and inappropriate name-calling can indicate the ability to bring the reputation of your potential new employers into disrepute. And no employer will take that risk.
Think you can better this? We want to hear from you – share you own stories with us in the comments below.
If you’re seriously considering employing any of these techniques to escape an unsatisfying job, get in touch with Benchmark Recruit before it’s too late! We can place you in a role that you deserve with people who you get along with, and provide advice on how to keep your name off this list of employee disasters!